The Lustful Lizards 0 - 2 THE DUNK SQUAD
The game opened with a picture perfect dwarven defense, a strategy known by many other teams as "offense". The dwarves were in motion as soon as the ball was in the air, and dwarf enforcer Hagan Drek-Troll cracked the first skink skull of the game before it hit the ground. The dwarves maintained the assault, decimating the Lizards' line and sending a second skink off the field during the first turn (although the Lustful apothecary managed to hold him together well enough to play). The dwarf Turil prevented the Lizards from approaching the ball with a well-timed tackle and proceeded to run it in himself to put the Dunk Squad up 1-0 on only the second turn of the game.
The aggression continued with the Saurus lineman Tualtutah reducing Tebar the longbeard to a loose sack of bone shards and organs during the kickoff, but the dwarves repaid the debt double on the following turn by sending two skinks to the casualty box with snapped necks and mangled limbs. Skink runner Iztwaq was so distracted by the sounds of his kin being splattered that he failed to notice the dwarven tackle zones ahead. His flattening came as a surprise to no one but him. The fevered pitch of violence broke for a moment as the dwarves scrambled to recover the ball, but in the confusion Hagan Drek-Troll was able to blindside and KO the Saurus Goquitz. The dwarves managed to emerge with the ball but lost it immediately during a handoff attempt as Hagan proved that his impressive offensive abilities do not extend to actually playing Blood Bowl. A few more fumbled attempts at ball handling (including a desperate two-TZ pickup attempt by Iztwaq) closed out the half.
The Lustful Lizards set up for the second half with only 8 healthy players to the Dunk Squad's 10. The teams continued to display nearly superhuman animosity, but the violence of the preceding half made the rest of the game look like a polite and well-organized tea party. The dwarves ran an uneventful four-turn touchdown drive highlighted by Iztwaq being punished for making foolish negative two-die blocks and Hagan Drek-Troll laying out the Saurus Goquitz once again, this time for the rest of the game.
The final drive of the game opened with little Iztwaq spitefouling the dwarven runner Dinaz to no effect. A brief struggle over the ball ended with the Dunk Squad's Thor clumsily tripping over it, sending it rolling into a thick huddle of dwarven defenders. Iztwaq dove after it and, true to his idiom, found himself sprawled out on the ground in a daze. It looked for a moment as though the dwarves might score a third unanswered point when the Lizard defense suddenly came together, flattening the dwarven runner and allowing skink rookie Gor of Itza to make an impressive series of dodges and GFIs to regain possession. He charged through a hole in the Dunk Squad's line and reluctantly handed off the ball to perpetual failure Iztwaq. Seeing his moment at last, Iztwaq sprinted all-out toward the dwarven end zone in the final seconds... only to trip over his own damn feet as he crossed the goal line, somehow tumbling head over heels into his own spine and nearly tearing himself in half.
Hagan Drek-Troll received hard-earned MVP points for his role in the slaughter. Meanwhile, in a final grand act of betrayal, Iztwaq took the Lizards' MVP award with him to the grave. Lustful Lizards coaching staff was heard to remark "The little bastard died exactly as he lived: spitefully."
The aggression continued with the Saurus lineman Tualtutah reducing Tebar the longbeard to a loose sack of bone shards and organs during the kickoff, but the dwarves repaid the debt double on the following turn by sending two skinks to the casualty box with snapped necks and mangled limbs. Skink runner Iztwaq was so distracted by the sounds of his kin being splattered that he failed to notice the dwarven tackle zones ahead. His flattening came as a surprise to no one but him. The fevered pitch of violence broke for a moment as the dwarves scrambled to recover the ball, but in the confusion Hagan Drek-Troll was able to blindside and KO the Saurus Goquitz. The dwarves managed to emerge with the ball but lost it immediately during a handoff attempt as Hagan proved that his impressive offensive abilities do not extend to actually playing Blood Bowl. A few more fumbled attempts at ball handling (including a desperate two-TZ pickup attempt by Iztwaq) closed out the half.
The Lustful Lizards set up for the second half with only 8 healthy players to the Dunk Squad's 10. The teams continued to display nearly superhuman animosity, but the violence of the preceding half made the rest of the game look like a polite and well-organized tea party. The dwarves ran an uneventful four-turn touchdown drive highlighted by Iztwaq being punished for making foolish negative two-die blocks and Hagan Drek-Troll laying out the Saurus Goquitz once again, this time for the rest of the game.
The final drive of the game opened with little Iztwaq spitefouling the dwarven runner Dinaz to no effect. A brief struggle over the ball ended with the Dunk Squad's Thor clumsily tripping over it, sending it rolling into a thick huddle of dwarven defenders. Iztwaq dove after it and, true to his idiom, found himself sprawled out on the ground in a daze. It looked for a moment as though the dwarves might score a third unanswered point when the Lizard defense suddenly came together, flattening the dwarven runner and allowing skink rookie Gor of Itza to make an impressive series of dodges and GFIs to regain possession. He charged through a hole in the Dunk Squad's line and reluctantly handed off the ball to perpetual failure Iztwaq. Seeing his moment at last, Iztwaq sprinted all-out toward the dwarven end zone in the final seconds... only to trip over his own damn feet as he crossed the goal line, somehow tumbling head over heels into his own spine and nearly tearing himself in half.
Hagan Drek-Troll received hard-earned MVP points for his role in the slaughter. Meanwhile, in a final grand act of betrayal, Iztwaq took the Lizards' MVP award with him to the grave. Lustful Lizards coaching staff was heard to remark "The little bastard died exactly as he lived: spitefully."
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