THE DUNK SQUAD had both a lot of successes and a lot of failures on the block dice against Goatman's Revenge's low-skull high-pow composition.
The Chaos team saw quite a bit of luck on the d6, but nobody from either team made a successful dodge at any point. It was a slow, foot-slogging game.
Goatman's Revenge 0 - 1 THE DUNK SQUAD
We've already seen a few brutal games this season, but the violence in this battle between furry animal men and dwarves who are somehow even hairier was characterized by a certain cruelty uncommon to the field of competition. Most Blood Bowlers kill because they love to kill, but one had the sense that these players were killing because they actually wanted their opponents to die.
This game started much more calmly than THE DUNK SQUAD's last outing; this time it wasn't until turn 2 that Hagan Drek-Troll mangled someone so badly that they had to be rolled off the pitch in a wheelbarrow. The dwarves received and attempted to run the ball up the sideline but found their progress halted by one group of beastmen while another, led by the minotaur Atrophinius, tussled with the dwarf offensive line. As previously noted, Hagan Drek-Troll drew first blood by sending goatfellow Mashlow Tail to the uncontrollable hemorrhaging tent while his teammate Kazain collapsed the helmet of lone Chaos warrior Dhaos Fangepile. The Chaos team's equipment manager would spend most of the match with a mallet trying to creatively remangle the helm enough for Dhaos to be able to see out of it again. Beastman Thishgy Antler struck back immediately, managing to ram Drok Dreng-Troll off the pitch and into the waiting arms of the fans. The violence on the field may have just started, but the spectators had been rioting for hours and were working at a fevered pitch of bloodlust. (THE DUNK SQUAD's apothecaries managed to fish most of Drok out of the crowd during halftime.) Enraged by the loss of his kin, Hagan Drek-Troll led the dwarven line on a rampage, headbutting Atrophinius in his massive cowgroin and then stomping on his head when he collapsed. The foul was called, but when Hagan turned his baleful crazyeyes on the ref the official pretended that the call was about something else and sent Thor off instead. Hagan turned his attention back to the business at hand and spent the rest of the half alternately knocking down and being knocked down by the minotaur. Brashfy Claw took an opportunity during the struggle to put a hoof to Hagan while he was down and, seeing the look still in Hagan's eyes, the referee pulled the goatman out of the game for his own protection. The ball, meanwhile, was knocked free of dwarven hands when the beastman Cra-tigor hurled himself into a flying cross body block to bowl over dwarf runner Duerrim. Neither Dunker nor Revenger made any headway with it before the half was called.
The second half started much the same but running in the other direction. The Chaos line went man-to-man, surprising and briefly scattering the dwarven line with their ferocity. Hagan Drek-Troll was unfazed and continued to bust heads, seemingly stunning a different Chaos player each turn. Beastman Thishgy Antler recovered the kickoff and attempted to find a hole in the melee by running up the same sideline against which the ball had been trapped in the first half with much the same result. After a few turns of back-and-forth struggling over the fallen ball, dwarf blocker Kazain saw an opening and went for it, only to bobble the pickup and knock the ball into the fans. After a brief scuffle, the ball was hurled back onto the field significantly closer to the dwarven scoring zone. Unfortunately, the churning of the midfield carnage left most of the Revengers in very poor position to attempt a recovery. Goatbro Cry-mulgors got control of the ball for a moment but was completely isolated from his team, and the dwarves predictably carried the ball into the endzone with pieces of him still clinging to it. The touchdown seemed to improve Hagan Drek-Troll's mood a bit, although his celebratory headbutt hospitalized Chaos lineman Slouk-mulgor.
The final drive began on turn 15, leaving Goatman's Revenge with very little chance of an answering point. The dwarven kick flew out of bounds, however, and the Chaos coach took the risky move of giving the touchback to unprotected lineman Tralow Tail. Tralow's teammates cleared him a path, however, and he made a wild dash for the endzone, landing a brutal hornbutt on the only dwarven defender in the backfield. Hagan Drek-Troll, lynchpin of the dwarven defense (and, indeed, entire team), gave desperate chase, but failed for the first time in the game to inflict any violence at all as the goatman eluded his grasp. Dhaos Fangepile, now sighted thanks to the intervention of a crowbar and a can opener but still quite wobbly, trundled after in an attempt to rescue his teammate, but he succeeded only in tripping, falling on his face, and distracting Tralow with his shouts. Unfortunately, the goatman's momentary hesitation saw the clock run out before he could make it to the endzone.
Hagan Drek-Troll threw one last gut shot in the final moment to punish Thishgy Antler for touching and thereby besmirching the ball, which he described as "a relic of dwarven history, you hooved arsehole". The beastman lay unconscious on the field until long after the dwarven team had been dispatched to the now-empty stands to look for the rest of Drok Dreng-Troll's arm.
This game started much more calmly than THE DUNK SQUAD's last outing; this time it wasn't until turn 2 that Hagan Drek-Troll mangled someone so badly that they had to be rolled off the pitch in a wheelbarrow. The dwarves received and attempted to run the ball up the sideline but found their progress halted by one group of beastmen while another, led by the minotaur Atrophinius, tussled with the dwarf offensive line. As previously noted, Hagan Drek-Troll drew first blood by sending goatfellow Mashlow Tail to the uncontrollable hemorrhaging tent while his teammate Kazain collapsed the helmet of lone Chaos warrior Dhaos Fangepile. The Chaos team's equipment manager would spend most of the match with a mallet trying to creatively remangle the helm enough for Dhaos to be able to see out of it again. Beastman Thishgy Antler struck back immediately, managing to ram Drok Dreng-Troll off the pitch and into the waiting arms of the fans. The violence on the field may have just started, but the spectators had been rioting for hours and were working at a fevered pitch of bloodlust. (THE DUNK SQUAD's apothecaries managed to fish most of Drok out of the crowd during halftime.) Enraged by the loss of his kin, Hagan Drek-Troll led the dwarven line on a rampage, headbutting Atrophinius in his massive cowgroin and then stomping on his head when he collapsed. The foul was called, but when Hagan turned his baleful crazyeyes on the ref the official pretended that the call was about something else and sent Thor off instead. Hagan turned his attention back to the business at hand and spent the rest of the half alternately knocking down and being knocked down by the minotaur. Brashfy Claw took an opportunity during the struggle to put a hoof to Hagan while he was down and, seeing the look still in Hagan's eyes, the referee pulled the goatman out of the game for his own protection. The ball, meanwhile, was knocked free of dwarven hands when the beastman Cra-tigor hurled himself into a flying cross body block to bowl over dwarf runner Duerrim. Neither Dunker nor Revenger made any headway with it before the half was called.
The second half started much the same but running in the other direction. The Chaos line went man-to-man, surprising and briefly scattering the dwarven line with their ferocity. Hagan Drek-Troll was unfazed and continued to bust heads, seemingly stunning a different Chaos player each turn. Beastman Thishgy Antler recovered the kickoff and attempted to find a hole in the melee by running up the same sideline against which the ball had been trapped in the first half with much the same result. After a few turns of back-and-forth struggling over the fallen ball, dwarf blocker Kazain saw an opening and went for it, only to bobble the pickup and knock the ball into the fans. After a brief scuffle, the ball was hurled back onto the field significantly closer to the dwarven scoring zone. Unfortunately, the churning of the midfield carnage left most of the Revengers in very poor position to attempt a recovery. Goatbro Cry-mulgors got control of the ball for a moment but was completely isolated from his team, and the dwarves predictably carried the ball into the endzone with pieces of him still clinging to it. The touchdown seemed to improve Hagan Drek-Troll's mood a bit, although his celebratory headbutt hospitalized Chaos lineman Slouk-mulgor.
The final drive began on turn 15, leaving Goatman's Revenge with very little chance of an answering point. The dwarven kick flew out of bounds, however, and the Chaos coach took the risky move of giving the touchback to unprotected lineman Tralow Tail. Tralow's teammates cleared him a path, however, and he made a wild dash for the endzone, landing a brutal hornbutt on the only dwarven defender in the backfield. Hagan Drek-Troll, lynchpin of the dwarven defense (and, indeed, entire team), gave desperate chase, but failed for the first time in the game to inflict any violence at all as the goatman eluded his grasp. Dhaos Fangepile, now sighted thanks to the intervention of a crowbar and a can opener but still quite wobbly, trundled after in an attempt to rescue his teammate, but he succeeded only in tripping, falling on his face, and distracting Tralow with his shouts. Unfortunately, the goatman's momentary hesitation saw the clock run out before he could make it to the endzone.
Hagan Drek-Troll threw one last gut shot in the final moment to punish Thishgy Antler for touching and thereby besmirching the ball, which he described as "a relic of dwarven history, you hooved arsehole". The beastman lay unconscious on the field until long after the dwarven team had been dispatched to the now-empty stands to look for the rest of Drok Dreng-Troll's arm.
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