Look at that.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Introducing...
... the all-new all-fantastic Blood SBowl All Time Hall of Fame! Now the league can forever remember the standout performances of the fastest runners, sharpest passers, most brutal murderers, and of course the coaches who drive them to these feats of madness. Don't see your name up there as much as you would like? Well, play better, you baddie. If Aaron can top the leaderboards, anyone can.
Seriously.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Announcing Blood SBowl Season 3!
The ancient fields lay dry and bloodless, the stands creak emptily in the howling winds, and the shadow of an iron-fisted tyrant looms over the kingdom. One among you will drive the villain SB from his throne... but who?
We'll find out soon, because the third season of the Blood SBowl league will begin some time during the evening on TUESDAY, MAY 14TH! As always, the league will have a single-round-robin regular season followed by a cut to a top 4 single-elimination playoff. The expected match frequency is one per week, rolling over early if all games are completed (and, of course, exceptions can be made for extenuating circumstances). Any team will be accepted, so put on your gear, practice your murdering skills on some people that you don't care about, and maybe teach your players how to handle the ball.
We'll see you on the pitch!
We'll find out soon, because the third season of the Blood SBowl league will begin some time during the evening on TUESDAY, MAY 14TH! As always, the league will have a single-round-robin regular season followed by a cut to a top 4 single-elimination playoff. The expected match frequency is one per week, rolling over early if all games are completed (and, of course, exceptions can be made for extenuating circumstances). Any team will be accepted, so put on your gear, practice your murdering skills on some people that you don't care about, and maybe teach your players how to handle the ball.
We'll see you on the pitch!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Season 2 Final Standings
After a series of playoffs that left every team battered and bruised followed by a savage, bloody final that included a turn 1 death, 5 KOs, an additional 8 casualties, and FOUR failed teammate throws, the Tromaville Terribads have managed to claw through the playoffs to claim victory for Season 2!
Congratulations to all involved, especially newcomer Mojo for posting the best overall record despite having only played like three games of Blood Bowl before starting the league. News on league awards and the beginning of Season 3 soon to come!
Preserved for posterity:
Playoff final standings:
Regular season final standings:
Congratulations to all involved, especially newcomer Mojo for posting the best overall record despite having only played like three games of Blood Bowl before starting the league. News on league awards and the beginning of Season 3 soon to come!
Preserved for posterity:
| Position | Player | Team | TV |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1st | SB | Tromaville Terribads (Underworld) | 1610 |
| 2nd | Mojo | WYLA (Undead) | 1470 |
| 3rd | Alise | Deez Hawks (Wood Elves) | 770 |
| 3rd | Sean | Krenlash's Team (Vampires) | 1340 |
Regular season final standings:
| Player | Team | TV | W-L-D |
|---|---|---|---|
| Mojo | WYLA (Undead) | 1630 | 6-1-2 |
| Sean | Krenlash's Team (Vampires) | 1510 | 6-2-1 |
| SB | Tromaville Terribads (Underworld) | 1670 | 5-1-3 |
| Alise | Deez Hawks (Wood Elves) | 1000 | 4-4-1 |
| Aaron | Soul Silver (Lizardmen) | 1480 | 4-4-1 |
| Will | The Broman Empire (Norse) | 1290 | 3-3-3 |
| Pi | Drinking & Fighting! (Dwarves) | 1250 | 3-5-1 |
| Brian | Blighttown Bashers (Nurgle) | 1330 | 2-5-2 |
| Austin | Y.o.l.o. (Humans) | 1190 | 2-4-3 |
| Mike | Khorn in my Thong (Khorne) | 1340 | 0-6-3 |
Monday, April 15, 2013
League Update: Season 2 Stats
The in-game Hall of Fame boards are, unfortunately, calculated off of players' lifetime stats rather than their season stats, so they're not good indicators of in-season performance. Fortunately for all of you, though, the league commissioner is a big stats nerd and did proper Hall of Fame boards by hand!
In addition, here's some more notable statistics:
BLOOD SBOWL SEASON 2
HALL OF FAME
HALL OF FAME
| Most Improved | Best Scorer | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Best Passer (Yardage) | Best Passer (Completions) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Best Runner | Best Receiver | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Most Violent Player | Best Interceptor | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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In addition, here's some more notable statistics:
Highest Turnover: Team That Lost The Most Players To Deaths And Firings
Deez Hawks (6)
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD: Most Combined Injuries Inflicted And Sustained
Tromaville Terribads and WYLA (33)
Tyin’ Em Up: Player Who Screwed Up The Most Opposing Dodges
Smekhare the First of WYLA (8)
Oh Come On, I Even Took A Skill For It: Player Angriest About Not Winning That Last Award
Julie of the Tromaville Terribads (So Angry)
We’ve Got Spirit, Yes We Do: Largest Cheerleading Squad
Krenlash’s Team and Deez Hawks (1)
The “Remembering That There’s A Ball” Award: Most Yards Gained
Goin Deep of Y.o.l.o. (318)
Quick Hands, Strong Legs: Most Interceptions
Jormungandr’s Revenge of Drinking & Fighting!, only interceptor in league history
Hungry For Victory But Also Other Stuff: Player Who Most Often Tried To Eat Teammates
Toxie of the Tromaville Terribads (It Felt Like A Million)
Toxie of the Tromaville Terribads (It Felt Like A Million)
Season 2 Regular Season Complete!
Here are the regular season standings, preserved for posterity:
Congratulations to WYLA, Krenlash's Team, Tromaville Terribads, and Deez Hawks on their playoff berths!
| Player | Team | TV | W-L-D |
|---|---|---|---|
| Mojo | WYLA (Undead) | 1630 | 6-1-2 |
| Sean | Krenlash's Team (Vampires) | 1510 | 6-2-1 |
| SB | Tromaville Terribads (Underworld) | 1670 | 5-1-3 |
| Alise | Deez Hawks (Wood Elves) | 1000 | 4-4-1 |
| Aaron | Soul Silver (Lizardmen) | 1480 | 4-4-1 |
| Will | The Broman Empire (Norse) | 1290 | 3-3-3 |
| Pi | Drinking & Fighting! (Dwarves) | 1250 | 3-5-1 |
| Brian | Blighttown Bashers (Nurgle) | 1330 | 2-5-2 |
| Austin | Y.o.l.o. (Humans) | 1190 | 2-4-3 |
| Mike | Khorn in my Thong (Khorne) | 1340 | 0-6-3 |
Congratulations to WYLA, Krenlash's Team, Tromaville Terribads, and Deez Hawks on their playoff berths!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
In Memoriam - Sir Pussy Arm
This season of Blood SBowl has been replete with thrills and chills appropriate for the whole family, provided that nobody in your family gets traumatized easily. We would be remiss, however, if we did not mention with a note of remorse the occasional tragedy, no matter how spectacular it may have been in the moment. It is in this spirit that we take a moment to remember a fallen fixture of the league: Pusstafar Braynard Armondson. Known for his unusually regal diction and effete manner somewhat inappropriate to a Blood Bowler, his teammates took to mockingly calling him "Sir" and "Milord" during basic training. When his accuracy and powerful throwing arm became apparent, however, the mockery turned to admiration (some of it, anyway). From then on his team and supporters referred to him mostly affectionately as "Sir Pussy Arm", we imagine because his full name was so long. Unfortunately, he was torn away from us suddenly during a regular season game against the Tromaville Terribads when the villainous skaven Knuckles pretended to be down and wounded until Pusstafar drew near, at which point he rose up and sunk his claws into the unsuspecting human's face. Of course, this act of treachery will go unpunished because it's wholly within the game rules and honestly it was pretty badass. But that does not mean that we cannot look back fondly upon our fallen friend!
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Advanced Tactics: Injuries
Everybody comes to a game of Blood Bowl looking for some heads to roll. The fans want to see blood spill and, although they may be loathe to admit it, both coaches are aiming to put enemy players in the ground. Conversely, nobody likes to lose players, but if you're looking to run with the same 11 men on the field forever you might want to go play Madden or something. I might write another post in the near future about how best to preserve your squad, but today we're talking all about the opposite.
As you can see, Piling On provides a tremendous improvement over the base casualty rate. What's important to note, though, is that the improvement in the injury rate between the red and blue lines is actually quite small. At AV 6 and 7, using Piling On to reroll failed armor breaks only improves the casualty rate by ~4%, and the effect is reduced significantly as AV climbs (or falls).
Because Piling On leaves your player prone after he has taken his action for the turn, using it significantly reduces that player's usefulness over the next turn. He won't provide any tackle zones during the opponent's upcoming turn and he'll be vulnerable to fouls, and then on your next turn he won't be able to throw another block without using up your blitz (unless he also has Jump Up, which would be unusual but might be something worth thinking about for a player like this). This means you really need to get some value out of knocking him prone, so think carefully about the numbers here before telling him to drop the elbow.
Incidentally, Piling On also interacts pretty favorably with Mighty Blow:
Making A Monster
At this point, the data has made it clear that the most effective killers will have Mighty Blow, Claw, and Piling On, allowing them to cause a casualty on ~20% of their knockdowns. There aren't any positions that start with even two of these skills, however, so you're going to be stuck building your own brutalizer. So in what order do you take the skills to ramp up your killing power as quickly as possible?
The math indicates that Mighty Blow is actually the most important skill. It provides the largest increase in casualty rate on targets with AV 8 or lower and is only slightly less effective than Claw on targets with AV 9. (Claw remains the head-and-shoulders standout against AV 10, but you're not going to run into much of that.) Mighty Blow is so effective, in fact, that it increases casualty rates on blocks even more than improving the block's chances of success; getting an extra successful face--using Block against a player without Block or using Tackle to cancel someone's Dodge--and getting an extra die on the block are both significantly less effective for injuring people than just adding Mighty Blow to your player. Piling On is the runner-up, again increasing casualty rates significantly more than actually improving the quality of your blocks although, like Mighty Blow, it's less effective than Claw against AV 9 and 10 players. (Of course, improving the quality of your blocks knocks opposing players down a lot more, and there's obviously a lot to be said about the value of that even when it doesn't result in a casualty.)
A final note about creating your own killer: Mighty Blow and Piling On are both from the Strength category, and Claw is from the Mutation category. You'll want Strength access on normals on a player that you intend to turn into a casualty machine, and many of these players just won't ever have access to Claw. If you're looking for players that can easily assemble the unholy trinity of smashing skills, the list is fairly short: Chaos Pact Marauders, Khorne Bloodthirsters, Norse Yhetees, Nurgle Warriors and Pestigors, Underworld Blitzers and Trolls, and every player on the Chaos team. Most players on the Underworld and Chaos Pact teams can get there with one double and Skaven Blitzers and Rat Ogres can do the same, while Necromantic Werewolves need two doubles. Be careful about using Piling On on a big guy, though, as their negative traits can make it relatively difficult to get them back up easily and your opponent may be more than happy to gang-foul them while they're down!
The only question left is "Just how much better is one of these teched-out slayers than the average fresh-off-the-assembly-lineman?"
How To Lose Friends And Injure People
I've talked about the math on injuries a bit in previous posts, but here's a refresher. Whenever a player gets fouled or falls down because of a block result (unless Wrestle was used), a failed dodge, or a botched GFI, a 2d6 armor roll is made for that player. If the result of the roll is higher than the player's armor, then a 2d6 injury roll is made for the player, using this result table:
| 2d6 Roll | % of Occurance | Result |
|---|---|---|
| 2-7 | 58 | Stunned |
| 8-9 | 25 | KO |
| 10-12 | 17 | Casualty |
Obviously, you want to get that casualty result as often as possible. It helps with your short-term goal of winning the game by removing an opposing player from the field and it helps with your long-tem goal of team improvement by awarding your player SPP. There are two ways to significantly improve your casualty rate: making better blocks and developing players to cause injuries. (Smart fouling will also help to cause casualties, but there's already a post about that.)
Making better blocks is a little bit complicated. The simplest part is covered here (tl;dr: rolling more dice is good and also Block and Tackle are valuable in the relevant situations), but the more difficult bit--positioning your players and sequencing your actions such that you produce the maximum number of multi-die blocks each turn of the drive--is a bit beyond the scope of this post. Just remember to always have a drive-long strategy in mind when moving and blocking; if you're not thinking about the next turn and the turn after that, you're often going to find yourself losing to an opponent who does. Skill pickups that can help make your blocks better include Guard, Tackle, and Dauntless.
Developing players to cause injuries, on the other hand, is very much within the scope of this post. The most common skill for increasing a player's killing power is Mighty Blow, the influence of which can be seen in this handy visualization:
Making better blocks is a little bit complicated. The simplest part is covered here (tl;dr: rolling more dice is good and also Block and Tackle are valuable in the relevant situations), but the more difficult bit--positioning your players and sequencing your actions such that you produce the maximum number of multi-die blocks each turn of the drive--is a bit beyond the scope of this post. Just remember to always have a drive-long strategy in mind when moving and blocking; if you're not thinking about the next turn and the turn after that, you're often going to find yourself losing to an opponent who does. Skill pickups that can help make your blocks better include Guard, Tackle, and Dauntless.
Developing players to cause injuries, on the other hand, is very much within the scope of this post. The most common skill for increasing a player's killing power is Mighty Blow, the influence of which can be seen in this handy visualization:
Players with the Claw skill treat all enemies as though they are AV 7, which is obviously valuable. It also has a favorable interaction with Mighty Blow, producing the following graph:
The other skill that interacts quite well with Mighty Blow is Piling On, which allows a player to throw himself on top of an enemy that he has just downed in order to reroll either the armor or injury roll for that player. This skill is a little bit less of a no-brainer because it leaves the attacking unit prone, which can range from mildly inconvenient to incredibly dangerous (particularly if the Piling On player is someone valuable that the opponent might like to foul). In order to get the most out of Piling On, you have to know the math (surprise!). In the following chart, the red line represents your percentage chance of causing an injury if you use Piling On any time you fail to injure a downed opponent, while the blue line represents your chance of causing an injury if you use Piling On only to reroll the injury roll after breaking armor:
As you can see, Piling On provides a tremendous improvement over the base casualty rate. What's important to note, though, is that the improvement in the injury rate between the red and blue lines is actually quite small. At AV 6 and 7, using Piling On to reroll failed armor breaks only improves the casualty rate by ~4%, and the effect is reduced significantly as AV climbs (or falls).
Because Piling On leaves your player prone after he has taken his action for the turn, using it significantly reduces that player's usefulness over the next turn. He won't provide any tackle zones during the opponent's upcoming turn and he'll be vulnerable to fouls, and then on your next turn he won't be able to throw another block without using up your blitz (unless he also has Jump Up, which would be unusual but might be something worth thinking about for a player like this). This means you really need to get some value out of knocking him prone, so think carefully about the numbers here before telling him to drop the elbow.
Incidentally, Piling On also interacts pretty favorably with Mighty Blow:
Making A Monster
At this point, the data has made it clear that the most effective killers will have Mighty Blow, Claw, and Piling On, allowing them to cause a casualty on ~20% of their knockdowns. There aren't any positions that start with even two of these skills, however, so you're going to be stuck building your own brutalizer. So in what order do you take the skills to ramp up your killing power as quickly as possible?
The math indicates that Mighty Blow is actually the most important skill. It provides the largest increase in casualty rate on targets with AV 8 or lower and is only slightly less effective than Claw on targets with AV 9. (Claw remains the head-and-shoulders standout against AV 10, but you're not going to run into much of that.) Mighty Blow is so effective, in fact, that it increases casualty rates on blocks even more than improving the block's chances of success; getting an extra successful face--using Block against a player without Block or using Tackle to cancel someone's Dodge--and getting an extra die on the block are both significantly less effective for injuring people than just adding Mighty Blow to your player. Piling On is the runner-up, again increasing casualty rates significantly more than actually improving the quality of your blocks although, like Mighty Blow, it's less effective than Claw against AV 9 and 10 players. (Of course, improving the quality of your blocks knocks opposing players down a lot more, and there's obviously a lot to be said about the value of that even when it doesn't result in a casualty.)
A final note about creating your own killer: Mighty Blow and Piling On are both from the Strength category, and Claw is from the Mutation category. You'll want Strength access on normals on a player that you intend to turn into a casualty machine, and many of these players just won't ever have access to Claw. If you're looking for players that can easily assemble the unholy trinity of smashing skills, the list is fairly short: Chaos Pact Marauders, Khorne Bloodthirsters, Norse Yhetees, Nurgle Warriors and Pestigors, Underworld Blitzers and Trolls, and every player on the Chaos team. Most players on the Underworld and Chaos Pact teams can get there with one double and Skaven Blitzers and Rat Ogres can do the same, while Necromantic Werewolves need two doubles. Be careful about using Piling On on a big guy, though, as their negative traits can make it relatively difficult to get them back up easily and your opponent may be more than happy to gang-foul them while they're down!
The only question left is "Just how much better is one of these teched-out slayers than the average fresh-off-the-assembly-lineman?"
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Match Report: Y.o.l.o. vs. The Broman Empire (Week 4)
Unsurprisingly, the Norse team played the aggressor, throwing more than three times as many blocks as their opponents and scoring nearly three times as many successes.
Y.o.l.o. 1 - 1 The Broman Empire
An ominous storm rolled in as the teams set up, blacking out the sun ominously. The fans worried that this presaged a horrible game full of bloodless shoving and (ugh) scoring, and the first drive nearly bore their fears out. The Broman yhetee broke the potential curse just as the otherwise uneventful play ended, however, sinking his comically oversized claws into Ardtrai the Drinker while Broseidon crossed the goal line. The game continued to tip in the Empire's favor during the second drive as muscular Norse limbs kept finding their way past flimsy human armor, resulting in broken ribs for Goin Deep, two KOs dealt out by Hulk Brogan, and a stunned Yolo Throws dropping the ball right into enemy hands. (Human blitzer Jek the Bawler deserves special mention here for expertly fending off block after block from the Norse without so much as a scratch even as his teammates went to pieces--sometimes literally--around him.) The Broman luck with striking did not extend to ball handling, however, and a series of turnovers by both teams prevented any further scoring during the half.
The sun pierced the clouds during half time, perhaps indicating a change in Y.o.l.o.'s fortunes. That hope got off to a rocky start, however, as the Abominable Broman continued doing the only thing he's good at and sent Jek the Punisher off the field in a pile. Yolo Throws returned the kickoff and showed some ferocity of his own, blitzing down the oncoming Brobi-Wan Kenobi to open a path. Broto Baggins quickly closed it, however, sending Throws to have a relaxing chat with the astrogranite. Morgan Freeman suffered a brutal Norse clothesline as he dashed to claim the ball, but his flailing body knocked the ball right back into Yolo Throws's hands as he recovered. It couldn't have gone better if Freeman had planned it (and, given his history, it probably would have gone worse if he had). Yolo Throws dashed downfield, surviving several attempts to bring him down before the Norse managed to surround and brutalize him. The ball bounced clear into the stands and the rowdy crowd, apparently eager either to see the humans redeem themselves or to give the Norse an excuse for more violence, hurled the ball toward the Norse backfield. Veteran passer G.I. Bro scooped up the "fumble" and attempted a pass, but all the flop sweat pouring off of him must have interfered with his grip and he dropped the ball, making room for blitzer Harold Dalrymple to sneak in and take off with it. The Norse put up an impressive defense, several of them managing to get a hand on Dalrymple during his dash, but no one was able to stop him from scoring the tying point. In the confusion, most people didn't notice Morgan Freeman tripping over his own feet as he fled from a particularly intimidating Norseman. Our sources in the Broman organization tell us that the shattered collarbone he sustained in the fall is only the third worst injury that he has inflicted on himself during his career, and really pales in comparison to that time he managed to get his own shin bone jammed into his eye during practice.
The final drive of the game showed lackluster offense from first the Norse and then the humans (after Bring It headbutted Brofessor X sufficiently hard to make him drop the ball), neither team entertaining any notion of actually scoring during the final seconds. Broto Baggins brought the game to a close with a bang by launching himself bodily at the seemingly invincible Jek the Bawler, hitting hard enough to smash his own hip on impact but not somehow not hard enough to bring Jek down or indeed to even make him notice what had happened.
Asked after the game how he had survived the brutal Norse onslaught, successfully fending off attackers through an impressive 10 attempts on his life, Jek the Bawler simply snorted derisively while gesturing to his team's casualty box, quipping "I don't know what their problem was. Didn't seem so tough to me."
The sun pierced the clouds during half time, perhaps indicating a change in Y.o.l.o.'s fortunes. That hope got off to a rocky start, however, as the Abominable Broman continued doing the only thing he's good at and sent Jek the Punisher off the field in a pile. Yolo Throws returned the kickoff and showed some ferocity of his own, blitzing down the oncoming Brobi-Wan Kenobi to open a path. Broto Baggins quickly closed it, however, sending Throws to have a relaxing chat with the astrogranite. Morgan Freeman suffered a brutal Norse clothesline as he dashed to claim the ball, but his flailing body knocked the ball right back into Yolo Throws's hands as he recovered. It couldn't have gone better if Freeman had planned it (and, given his history, it probably would have gone worse if he had). Yolo Throws dashed downfield, surviving several attempts to bring him down before the Norse managed to surround and brutalize him. The ball bounced clear into the stands and the rowdy crowd, apparently eager either to see the humans redeem themselves or to give the Norse an excuse for more violence, hurled the ball toward the Norse backfield. Veteran passer G.I. Bro scooped up the "fumble" and attempted a pass, but all the flop sweat pouring off of him must have interfered with his grip and he dropped the ball, making room for blitzer Harold Dalrymple to sneak in and take off with it. The Norse put up an impressive defense, several of them managing to get a hand on Dalrymple during his dash, but no one was able to stop him from scoring the tying point. In the confusion, most people didn't notice Morgan Freeman tripping over his own feet as he fled from a particularly intimidating Norseman. Our sources in the Broman organization tell us that the shattered collarbone he sustained in the fall is only the third worst injury that he has inflicted on himself during his career, and really pales in comparison to that time he managed to get his own shin bone jammed into his eye during practice.
The final drive of the game showed lackluster offense from first the Norse and then the humans (after Bring It headbutted Brofessor X sufficiently hard to make him drop the ball), neither team entertaining any notion of actually scoring during the final seconds. Broto Baggins brought the game to a close with a bang by launching himself bodily at the seemingly invincible Jek the Bawler, hitting hard enough to smash his own hip on impact but not somehow not hard enough to bring Jek down or indeed to even make him notice what had happened.
Asked after the game how he had survived the brutal Norse onslaught, successfully fending off attackers through an impressive 10 attempts on his life, Jek the Bawler simply snorted derisively while gesturing to his team's casualty box, quipping "I don't know what their problem was. Didn't seem so tough to me."
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Match Report: Soul Silver vs. WYLA (Week 2)
Soul Silver 1 - 2 WYLA
Fresh off the back of a win in the most brutal game of a truly brutal week, WYLA entered this match looking to repeat the slaughter. Soul Silver's sauruses lined up bravely, practically dripping ferocity, but one could see the skinks shaking from the stands. As the ref blew the starting whistle, the entire crowd visibly leaned forward, anticipating spilled blood and broken bones.
They were not disappointed.
Soul Silver proved to be a well-oiled and very practiced machine, executing a split-second blitz that caught the undead team flat-footed. Before the opening kickoff had even touched the ground, lizard enforcer Swampert flattened WYLA's Rigor Hades and sent him off to the sidelines. Unfortunately, Hades was followed closely by a stretcher carrying the tiny but ruthless--and unconscious--murderer Ekans, who managed to trip himself over the foot of a stunned and stationary Rigor the Barber. The kick fell into the hands of star skink Squirtle (currently in the running for the league's leading scorer position) but he managed to fumble the catch and nearly gave WYLA the chance to recover from the blitz. His fast recovery and even faster feet sealed the point before the opening seconds could even tick off the clock.
Unfortunately, things turned around quite quickly. At the beginning of the next drive, the skink Snivy died during a routine dodge attempt, presaging a game marked by setback after setback for the scalier squad. The undead team's ghouls were the stars of the rest of the game, scoring in the final moments of the first half to tie it up and making almost all of the important blitzes and blocks in the interim. Corpseripper and Carnivorestalker racked up an impressive 70 running yards while injuring Squirtle and spitefully stomping on a downed Blastoise (to no effect), while the rest of the team systematically dismantled any hope of a Soul Silver comeback by mangling any skink they could catch. Wight Thorgrim the Cruel crushed Totadile to steal the ball and score a point at the closing buzzer after surviving a series of increasingly brave and desperate skink blitzes, racking up a second win in as many weeks for WYLA.
Can WYLA maintain their undefeated streak? Can Soul Silver recover from this savage misstep and make the playoffs? It doesn't matter because obviously the Tromaville Terribads are going to win the league, says this unbiased reporter!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Match Report: Blighttown Bashers vs. Krenlash's Team (Week 1)
The vampire team saw tremendous luck on the block dice, suffering no turnovers and posting an impressive success rate.
The armor breaks fell quite the other way, however.
Blighttown Bashers 2 - 0 Krenlash's Team
A shining spot of relative civility in the bloodiest week the league has ever seen, the contest between the Blighttown Bashers and Krenlash's Team featured less than fifteen gallons of blood spilled and barely any on-field deaths.
This game was characterized by the slow but inexorable march of the undead offenses and extended but ultimately harmless wrestling matches between the slowly decaying players. A pair of Nurgle rotters spent the entire first half moving the ball up the field but ultimately found their push halted by the imposing figure of Count Ivan Draco, who pummeled each of them in turn. It looked as though he would single-handedly stymie the Bashers' drive when suddenly his eyes went red and his thirst for blood overtook him. In his frenzy to feed on one of his lesser teammates, he failed to see the outstretched and decomposing foot of Rise Kujikawa and took an embarrassing tumble. Rotter Cheopis Cragspider took advantage of the lapsed defense and shambled in to score the first point of the game just as the halftime whistle chirped.
The second half belonged almost entirely to the massive, hideous, and massively hideous mutant Quelaag. This terrifying beast of Nurgle spent the entire first half either struggling to understand the coach's screams of "Hit him! HIT HIM!!!" or hypnotized by one particularly charismatic vampire, but the latter half of the game saw a very different performance out of the monster. From the moment the kick landed, Quelaag dogged the ball, staying remarkably light on his weird gross pseudopodia. Vampire ball carrier Norman von Drachenfeld found himself unable to escape Quelaag's invading tentacles (ew), which bogged him down long enough for the Bashers to descend on him in force. A struggle over control of the ball ended when Ivan Draco once again succumbed to his burning bloodlust and dove for a friendly throat, tumbling head over heels and opening the way for another buzzer-beating Nurgle touchdown.
A team of reporters asked Count Draco later in the locker room what prompted his game-throwing performance, to which he responded "SUFFER FOR YOUR IMPUDENCE!" before tearing out two of their throats in one smooth motion. The survivors assure us that it was a spectacular display of athleticism, at least.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
League Update: Season Two Is Coming!
Season Two of the illustrious Blood SBowl league begins FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 1ST! If you intend to play, you need to have your team submitted by some arbitrary point on Friday evening. Don't wait until the last minute to get in!
The competition is really heating up this season. The first outing saw only rookie teams competing for the coveted Golden Caskets, but the fine craftmanship and obvious intrinsic value of the trophy has begun to attract veteran squads from as far afield as Tromaville and Atrophinius's mead garden. The league is taking submissions with any TV between 500 and 2500, so consider how much experience you want on a team before applying. Low TVs are perfectly viable thanks to the magic of inducements, and high TVs allow for a more refined strategy and occasionally some totally ridiculous level-up bonuses (at the cost of feeding inducements to the opponent).
Get your teams built and your applications in, and we'll see you on the pitch!
The competition is really heating up this season. The first outing saw only rookie teams competing for the coveted Golden Caskets, but the fine craftmanship and obvious intrinsic value of the trophy has begun to attract veteran squads from as far afield as Tromaville and Atrophinius's mead garden. The league is taking submissions with any TV between 500 and 2500, so consider how much experience you want on a team before applying. Low TVs are perfectly viable thanks to the magic of inducements, and high TVs allow for a more refined strategy and occasionally some totally ridiculous level-up bonuses (at the cost of feeding inducements to the opponent).
Get your teams built and your applications in, and we'll see you on the pitch!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Season One Final Standings
Preserved for posterity:
Season One Playoff Standings
Season One Regular Season Standings
Thank you to everyone who made awesome things happen in this first season of Blood SBowl! We had fantastic rivalries, fascinating narratives, and more gallons of blood spilled than most leagues twice our size. Stay tuned for news about season two!
| Position | Player | Team | TV | W-L-D |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1st | SB | Bone Again (Necromantic) | 1310 | 2-0-0 |
| 2nd | Austin | Yoloin Biatches (Amazons) | 1470 | 1-1-0 |
| 3rd | Aaron | THE DUNK SQUAD (Dwarves) | 1400 | 0-1-0 |
| 4th | Will | The Lustful Lizards (Lizardmen) | 1410 | 0-1-0 |
| Player | Team | TV | W-L-D |
|---|---|---|---|
| Aaron | THE DUNK SQUAD (Dwarves) | 1310 | 5-1-1 |
| Will | The Lustful Lizards (Lizardmen) | 1380 | 5-2-0 |
| SB | Bone Again (Necromantic) | 1200 | 4-1-2 |
| Austin | Yoloin Biatches (Amazons) | 1280 | 3-1-3 |
| Pi | Transexual Transylvania (Dark Elves) | 1110 | 3-2-2 |
| Mike | The Mafukin Keglugadins (Orcs) | 1120 | 2-4-1 |
| Sean | Goatman's Revenge (Chaos) | 1130 | 1-6-0 |
| Alise | Tentakillas (Nurgle) | 1020 | 0-6-1 |
Thank you to everyone who made awesome things happen in this first season of Blood SBowl! We had fantastic rivalries, fascinating narratives, and more gallons of blood spilled than most leagues twice our size. Stay tuned for news about season two!
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
To The Victor....
It's been a long road (not really), but the grand finals are finally here! Who will go home with the coveted Golden Caskets? It's sure to be OH HEY I NEVER TOLD YOU GUYS ABOUT THE CASKETS
The Golden Caskets are like the Stanley Cup of the only sport that matters: Blood Bowl played in a league that is managed by SB. Which team will be skilled (and lucky) enough to claim this glorious, slightly morbid, and wholly appropriate prize? Only Nuffle can say!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
League Update: Regular Season Stats
The regular season is officially over! Here are the hall of fame boards, preserved for posterity (click for readable size):
And here are some other random stats and awards:
And here are some other random stats and awards:
Most Concussed: Player Who Sustained the Most KOs
Heather of the Tentakillas (6)
Iron Skull: Player Who Survived the Most Injuries
Drok Dreng-Troll of THE DUNK SQUAD (4)
Most Graceful: Player Who Failed the Most Dodges
Qlamitl of the Lustful Lizards, Courtney of the Yoloin Biatches, and Chrissy of the Tentakillas (4)
Masters of Brutality: Team Responsible For The Most KOs, Injuries, and Deaths
THE DUNK SQUAD (45, averaging roughly 2 every 5 turns)
The William Murderface Award For Excellence In Manslaughter: Team With the Most Kills
Goatman's Revenge (5)
Glass Jaws: Most KOed Team
Yoloin Biatches (29 with at least one on each player, averaging 4 per game)
The Receiving End: Most Injured Team
Goatman's Revenge (13, averaging 2 per game)
The Actually Playing Blood Bowl Award: Most Yards Gained
The Lustful Lizards (562, nearly 100 more than next-highest team)
Wait, We Can Throw It?: Most Passing Yards
The Mafukin Keglugadins (146, nearly double the next-highest team)
My God, It's Full Of Stars: Team With the Most SPP Earned
The Lustful Lizards (91)
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